Genevieve Adkinson
Hey there! Welcome to FreeFred’s informative guide to understanding sex addiction and helping partners. Finding out that your partner is struggling with sex addiction can be a real gut punch. We totally get it, and we’re here to give you the lowdown, support, and guidance to get through this tough ride. In this article, we’ll dive deep into sex addiction’s nitty-gritty, how it affects partners, and the steps you can take to heal and recover.
Unveiling the Shattered Reality
Okay, picture this: you innocently grab your partner’s phone, and bam! You stumble upon steamy emails and chats that leave you shocked and broken. In that split second, your world turns upside down as you come face-to-face with the harsh reality of sex addiction. It’s like a sucker punch to your heart, and you might feel defeated and lost, making it hard to wrap your head around the situation. As a partner, you might’ve had your suspicions before, but now the full extent of the betrayal hits you like a ton of bricks.
Understanding Sex Addiction: A Closer Look
Sex addiction is all about having a messed-up relationship with sex. It’s like using sex as a Band-Aid for dealing with uncomfortable feelings and moods. Dr. Stefanie Carnes, in her book “Mending a Shattered Heart,” breaks down ten key criteria for sexual addiction:
1. Can’t Resist Sexual Urges: Engaging in sexual behaviors even when they’re trying to stop
2. Overdoing It: Getting deep into sexual behaviors for way longer or way more than intended.
3. Failed Attempts to Quit: Wanting to stop or control the behaviors but just can’t
4. Time-Suck: Devoting way too much time to getting sex or recovering from it
5. Obsessed with Sex: Can’t stop thinking about or getting ready for the next sexual activity.
6. Neglecting Responsibilities: Putting sexual behaviors above work, school, or social duties
7. Ignoring the Consequences: Going on with the behaviors despite facing problems like money issues, emotional distress, or health concerns
8. Constantly Escalating: Needing to amp up the behaviors to get the same effect or not getting the same kick without doing more
9. Sacrificing the Good Stuff: Giving up socializing, work, or hobbies to focus on sexual behaviors
10. Feeling Distressed and Crabby: Feeling anxious, edgy, or restless when unable to get it on
Seeking Professional Help
If you suspect your partner is wrestling with sex addiction, it’s time to look out for yourself first. Reach out for professional help, ideally from a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) who knows their stuff. Keep in mind that your partner’s behavior doesn’t define your worth, so kick shame to the curb.
Navigating the Journey to Recovery
The road to recovery might seem like climbing a mountain, but hang tight on your healing quest. As a partner, you play a big role in supporting your loved one, but remember, the addict must find their own way to recovery. This “aha” moment often comes when they realize what they stand to lose.
Steps to Protect Yourself
Protecting yourself during this rollercoaster ride is essential. Here are some smart moves to make:
1. Put Yourself first. Take a deep breath and focus on self-care before reacting.
2. Get Expert help: Hook up with a therapist who knows their way around sex addiction to guide you through this rocky phase.
3. Build a Support Squad: Reach out to family and friends you can trust to give you a shoulder to lean on.
4. Educate yourself: Read up on sex addiction from authoritative sources to get a handle on what’s going on.
5. Look After Your Health: Consider getting tested for STDs just in case.
6. Set Boundaries: Team up with a professional counselor to set healthy boundaries for yourself.
7. Remember, It’s Not Your Fault: Keep reminding yourself that your partner’s behavior is on them, not you.
The Path to Healing
Healing from the pain of sex addiction is totally doable both for you and your partner. With time and commitment, you can build a stronger connection and bounce back from this rough patch. The journey might be tough, but the rewards are priceless, whether your relationship stays intact or takes a new direction.
Conclusion
At FreeFred, we understand how tough sex addiction can be for partners. Our mission is to give you the support, resources, and understanding to make it through this hard time. Remember, healing is within reach, and reaching out for professional help is the first step to taking back your life and finding hope for the future. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to get help. Give us a call at 562-431-5100, and let’s take this journey to recovery together.
